its been a little over a year i thought that id commit myself to a man i had met. I cant tell if this is a good idea. he is sometimes too childish for me. too obnoxious. too belligerent. too not like me. his child threw a fit at the beach while i was drunk and high. i think people knew. he thinks im crazy. i think hes crazy. i dont think we are right for each other yet we seem to cling onto each other with no plans of letting go. we both know we have fallen in love. but i feel too young to settle down. im 19. i will probably fall in love with someone who actually loves me back the way they should. webcaming has gotten better though. ive been having more fun. im more open to kinky stuff, like swallowing cum. my least fav, but you have to do what you have to do. im more annoyed by people trying to converse with me on the site while not pay. i think some people like young girls, maybe younger than me. there seems to be a lot of incest fantasy going on that site and maybe even some extreme small penis humiliation. i cant be dom, i can only be sub.

i cant remember feeling this tired before. i sleep and sleep and still dont feel any better. my life has become a search for happiness in a place i thought would be pure happiness. living away from family feels refreshing but living next to some who isnt reminds you of how little people can respect people they dont truly love. i met bryan in october of 2014 and we have been together since.maybe its time i pack my bags i am not sure...

worried

i confuse myself. i have weird fetishes i dont like talking about. i know they exist but i dont like they being there. i dont like them being a part of me. i feel like i should burn. i feel bad. shamed. unevolved.

webcam?

i am a webcam model now who lives with her boyfriend. hes 26. im 18. i work full time at home it gets pretty lonely and frustrating. i have major anxiety now but at least for the most part my depression from childhood has subsided. i am forced to be a dirty talker and do small penis humiliation for my site, two things im not used to i really need guidance.